sábado, 12 de marzo de 2011
Jumpsuit at the Ready
Mum sent me a link to a streaming video of The Running Man. Subtle as ever. Thanks Mum!
Well, Bayside Woman canceled on me last night because "the weather was nasty." It's called 'winter.' Now we are supposed to meet tonight. Ugh. If she cancels tonight i'm just gonna end it by email or text. I hate stringing things out. If we are done, let's put it in the books. I'm already bored of the whole thing.
"You handle rejection well?" She asked me on Tuesday. Not sure why.
I said, "Look. I was in sales for 15 years. You get rejected a lot. I write novels. You send them out and people say 'we're gonna pass' all the time. When Mel and i told our father in 1982 that he should call us once a month or maybe not at all, he never called again. I play drums. I tried out for several bands when i was younger and never got the gig. People listen to the Platypus all the time and say 'what the hell is that!' My wife (after 15 years together) had an affair while we were still married and had another dude's child . Yes, i can fucking handle rejection!"
i'm not immune. i'm not invulnerable. i don't internalize it. i'm not alone. i have a tremendous family and unbelievable friends; you good people who spend your precious time reading this crap every day, for example. But i'm me. Unlike Charlie Sheen, i don't have tiger blood or Adonis DNA, whatever the hell that means, but the last four years have been a tremendous growth experience for me. And i learned as a youth that except for your core group of a few close people, there's no sense in giving a god damn what people think of you.
I really want to say 'Duh, Winning!' but i'm going to stop there.
Somewhere along the way i stopped caring about things that don't really matter. So let's get this over with Lady 516, because then i am going out drinking with American Laura!
I asked her about twenty. No, not that. No....wrong question. That's not what i meant!
"Tell me about a song that means a lot to you. That you just love. Or a book you read."
Stop asking me English teacher questions!
"Do you know what i do for a living? I'm an English teacher. Hobbies; i write novels and play drums."
"Tell me about your childhood. Why did you leave the states? Why did you leave finance? What's you favorite sexual position (i mean, we've only been together a few weeks.) What do you want to do with you life? Why don't you want to have children? How in the hell can you actually listen to Steve Miller?!!!"
Each one was flatly and roundly rejected.
Our modest function . . . is to organize the Apocalypse.
The solitary question she did answer? Her favorite color is bluish-purple. Not even that could be simple. And i'm kind of color blind in that part of spectrum, so i'm not even sure i know exactly what that color is. Fucking hell.
Well dog, I know we're not in Kansas—the sky's all colored wrong