Just walk away slowly and don't make eye contact.....

The shutters are down and the curtains are closed
And I've covered my tracks
Disposed of the car
Trying to forget even your name and the way that you look
When you're sleeping
Dreaming of this

Way out
Way out of here
Fade out
Fade out, vanish
-Porcupine Tree

Well, it's over. Not officially, as Bayside Woman took a very "I like you and we'll see," stance, but i think she's just a mess mentally and maybe even just seeing if she can control me. So, while we left it quite noncommittal, i have decided i am done. Walk away slowly and try not to make eye contact. I really don't want to play games. And she is an iceberg of issues. You can only see the top but there's a whole lot more below the water's surface. And sadly, she's just needs to grow up a bit for a 35 year old woman.

So, on my part, no texting, IM chatting, phone calls. I feel relieved actually. I knew how this end after Black Tuesday. So..... off i go. I have a life to figure out anyway. Back to anonymity. Run some Black Ops. I'm so close to Northern Africa it would be un pecado (a sin) not to.

Way out of here.

No work today! It's 12C / 55 F. Rainy. It's going to rain til Jueves i think. SO far it looks like a day to stay in bed, drink beer, and prep lessons. At least it's not cold. It's been a bitch of a week.

But... at least it's just me now. I like me. Having known me a long time i accept my quirks and shortcomings. I am now looking at the possibility of staying in the US til December and then heading somewhere else in Jan. I just don't see how i can do what i do in the US without going back to school, to which i say FUCK THAT! I don't want to pay for it and i don't want to do it.

I have;

• An English writing degree
• An English Literature degree
• A minor in History
• A minor in Peace and Justice Studies
• An MBA in Marketing

Why would any sane person need another degree? Or an insane one?

I was thinking about Japan.... but i think it's safe to say that's not really and option now. Those poor people. The video looks like scenes from INDEPENDENCE DAY or some apocalyptic movie. And the Japanese are well prepared for earthquakes! They do not do things half-assed. But this quake was enormous.

I helped American Laura move some stuff before I met Bayside. She's moving in with her boyfriend Tim. Her old flatmate is an asshole so she asked me to go with her, just in case. He wasn't there

Everybody looks to Jersey for 'muscle.' Even Texans. It was good see her and bounce some of this stuff off of her.


So I got all these things, but so what?
In the end you can´t take them with you
You think you can save my soul? Well Ok...
Tell me, with all your conviction
What happens now?
-Porcupine Tree