Scandalous

Jessica Simpson is pregnant. She sold the rights to film her daughter's birth to Lifetime for a show that will be called Petulance and Placenta. Lifetime is gambling $5m that people will be tuning in to see whether her child is the Anti-Christ. Possible nicknames being floated for the child are Darth Blonde and Jessica Simpson's Baby.

There's always a new scandal. Now it's naked photos of Scarlett Johansson on the Internet. The big question is are they real or fake and PhotoShopped? 

And now there are even nude pictures of me online. All i have to say is that the below picture, which many clam to be me, is not me. My ass is not that big and Michael Jackson's former doctor has been giving me injections to make me appear less yellow. Translation; this is a fraud. 

The only time i EVER posed nude was with Pamela Andersen, riding sans clothing on a giant sperm whale for PETA. It's difficult to say no to Pammy.

At least it was tasteful.