Here is No Why

(Prepared to Run Like Hell)

Mum sent me a copy of Fatal Attraction through email with the message RUN BABY RUN. Always nice to have her weigh in.

Well, we'll meet tomorrow, come what may. It'll be for the best whatever happens.

And in your sad machines
you'll forever stay
-Smashing Pumpkins

2:04 now. Long day manana. Maybe longer than i ever imagined.

Run Rabbit Run
-John Updike/Pink Floyd

Note to Self:
Maybe i really am ready to settle down in Maine.

"Lobster tail. Lobster claw. Lobster bisque. Chicken-fried lobster. Lobster ravioli. Stuffed lobster (with lobster). Lobster waffles. Lobster rolls. Green eggs and lobster...."
-Forest Lump(ed Lobster)

In the cold light of day

I won't shiver in the cold
I won't let the shadows take their toll
I won't cover my head in the dark
And I won't forget you when we part

Collapse the Light Into Earth
I won't heal given time
I won't try to change your mind
I won't feel better in the cold light of day
But I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to stay

Collapse the Light Into Earth
-Porcupine Tree

Seven hours of class today. Whew! That's a lot. Things are chaotic and confusing. I would expound, but i'm not really sure myself. Just a perfect storm of weirdness and exhaustion and annoyances. Bayside women is showing signs of craziness. Tuesday was just weird. In short, she seemed to be looking for a fight because everything is fine and that's never happened to her.

WTF?

I have a lot of experience with crazy women (see Marriage, Maria, etc). So i know you just let them keep talking until they finally stop. To try to halt that flow is like stepping in front of a freight train. Then you just walk away slowly without trying to make eye contact. It was all just so unexpected. She said she still loved and thought about Jesus (ex) and was conflicted. I told her i was open to a break or whatever if she wanted to clear her head. Nothing was decided. She was mostly just spewing random thoughts. I guess we'll talk the next time i see her. Whenever that is. Or i might just run and hide. It was so out of the blue! We had always said we were just having fun. There was no talk of what the future would bring or that her retired police man, gun loving, conservative father would freak if he saw me with long hair and a beard (editors note; at time of posting, there has never been any talk of me meeting her parents as i live on another continent from them. We both do. Also, hair can be cut, as it probably will be to get a job when i come back to the US.) My gut tells me to just walk away. After two years, I know she can be crazy and irrational. As nice as it's been, i'm not overly invested in the whole thing. I have no idea where i'll be 5 months- physically (where), mentally (things are so simple when i'm on my own).

Well, i'm sure we'll talk. But i'm putting on my running shoes, just in case.

Lunes, part 2,231.7

So let me fill my children's hearts
With heroes tales and hope it starts
A fire in them so deeds are done
With no vain sighs for moments gone

-Big Country

Well, bad news from your side of the planet. Sue's cousin, Stephen, died on Friday, very possibly an OD. He had trouble with drugs his whole life ever since he had a very bad leg brake when he was 17. He was a tortured soul if i ever met one. Horribly sad. He was like late 40's, early 50's i suppose. Sue is fine. Her and Annie did not go cuz there was no wake, just a burial. Horribly sad. Her Uncle Stevie has lost his wife and two sons in the past year or two.

I found out yesterday thanks to the Seester. I hate Lunes. But life goes on. We all go on. And on and on and on. The constant ebb and flow. So to lighter things....

I'll see Bayside women, as i usually do on Tues. Only 2 classes today - lotsa cancellations, but i'll still have 25 hours this week.

And in case you're playing at home, yes- i roughly figured how many days i've been on this planet and divided by 7, to get a rough idea of how many Mondays i have seen pass me by.

Better

The Green Grocer Girls

17:23

I am better, but not 100 percent. Lady 516 (Carolyn) has been sick as a dog this weekend, so it's been a week since we've seen each other. I've been sick for a week, which is a long time.

Lessons for this week are prepared. I started making the MBA Midterm which will be on March 25th. They did presentations this week and they were awesome.

I am enjoying the 41 hour period between Sat at 18:00 and Monday at 11:00 that i don't have to freaking work. Ashley had a Carnivale Party. It was fun. Maria and Paloma came too. It's 57F but i have been in bed all day. Unwinding. I was going to play drums but not sure i have the strength nor desire to be so motivated. Laziness rocks. And i don't feel horrible like last week.

i should eat something.

And finally into our world,
Do you know what,
You let yourself in for

And finally into out world,
And lord knows what,
You let yourself in for

What have we sown, what have we sown,
Just shut your eyes until you've flown,
Wherever you are, wherever you are,
I'll be with you
-The Pineapple Thief

18:12

i showered. I often go without a scrubbing on Monday cuz it's a decent walk and cold wait at the bus stop at 1o:30 in the morn.

Okay- i'm gonna meet Bayside Woman for a recuperative beer at 20:00.

i should still really eat something.

Grill cheese? Booo Yeah!

If i haven't said it lately, i love and miss you all. :)

Porcupine Tree at Radio City on Sept 24th! Who's in?

Sometimes it's the simple things.

The Past

When we get old, i guess we loook to the past. It has been a very rough week. But i am listening to the first live Wayward Platypus Album, when i really kind of sucked as a drummer, and loving it. Man, it's SO progressive. We eventually became our own thing, our own style. But Science blowing sax on HATRED is crazy. We are so Crimsonesque. And IF I SAW YOU IN DENVER is a fan fave. The tens of you. I am sick but recovering. Woman 516 (Bayside woman) is sick too. First Fri since our first tryst we haven't met. She said she misses me. I miss her too. What a nice thing!

I have not listened to this in a long time. The Platypus was fledgling. Nothing like BRUNCH WITH THE RIVER MAN which is us at our best and as a 3 piece, but that was a decade long evolution. Jim and Mark and I had to grow into that. I was just starting to become the drummer i am today. Years of playing help you improve.

It's been a hard week. But i live to fight another day.

You want a piece of me?!!!!

Gravity Eyelids

sleep comes like a drug
in God's country
-U2

6:00

I've slept so much the past two days, maybe that's why i can't sleep. But i do have like 6 or 7 hours of class today. But i am finally feeling a bit better.

close your eyes

breathe deep

everything is lovely

nothing can hurt you

your pillow is like a perfect set of hooters to rest your head on

adios

sayonara

later

let it go.....................................................

Back

1:07 Jueves

Don't give me your steak-reared milkboys, milkboys
Half alive on empty white noise, white noise
I got power, I'm proud to be loud;
my signal goes out clear
I want everybody to know that Mozo is here
On the air
On the air
On the air
-Peter Gabriel

Okay. Mac is fixed. The morons at Corte de Ingles sold me the wrong power adapter when i bought it in Nov. It was only 60w. I need 85w. Wankers. The battery, which i thought was the problem, is fine.

But i woke up sick on Monday. I think i am slowly turning the corner towards health.

Happy Birthday Colin Tietjen, who is 11 today. Happy Birthday Megan McFadden, who turned - how old- 6 maybe? - on Monday

I have many tales to tell, but i'm too tired right now. But all is well. Lots of work, Carolyn, henceforth to be referred to as Bayside Woman (from Long Island), is fine. I come to Spain and i am with a gal from Long Island? My life is like a perpetual inside joke. But things are great with us.

I have so many friends, including the Seester, who were born at the end of Feb or first week of March. WTF? Does everyone's parents go on vacation in May?