Everything is surreal. Trying to settle your accounts in Spain is like trying to put a man on the moon. This is something Spain has never done.
I was at Dave's watching his cat, Spez, so no Internet there. She ate some plastic and had to have an operation 2 days before he left. She has a cone on her head but she is fine.
It's hot. So goddamned hot.
I think i'm losing my mind. Finally. Really. Totally. For good this time.
Dream so vivid i swear they were real. Until i realize they were with people from grammar school, high school, Fairfield (when we were still 22), old jobs, etc.
And i am suffering a Welsh Witch hangover. I miss her. I'm somewhat haunted by what could have been. Now, i am normally one to just except things and walk away. It doesn't mean i might not pine over them for a bit, but i move on - just look at what transpired with Sue and i. There is a period of grief and mourning and then you get on with it.
But at my Good-bye to Me party, her friend Carol (she is English of Jamaican descent so we always talk about Jamaica and have a lot of fun together.) She said "Jay's a great guy. Why don't you just marry him already?" I was fucking floored.
Her sister got married yesterday in York. She sent me a message saying they were at the wedding dinner and there was utter silence. And then someone asked "So are you and Jay a couple?"
Seems she's the only one who can't see it. But it doesn't matter. If she doesn't see it, she doesn't see it. Besides, i am leaving. And a 15 year age difference is a hell of a thing. I'll be fine.
It's just the stress of leaving getting to me.
UFO = Unlimited Freak Out
Not to worry. The US has good insane asylums, so i hear. And i'll be helpful.
"What size straight jacket?"
"You look more like a size 40 to me."
"I like loose-fitting clothing."