sábado, 12 de noviembre de 2011

Scorched Earth Policy

A scorched earth policy is a military strategy or operational method which involves destroying anything that might be useful to the enemy while advancing through or withdrawing from an area (Wikipedia.)

anger - noun
a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility
(New Oxford Dictionary)

"Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over till we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
, Animal House

Anna jumped up from the table, Anna started to scream,
But Victor came slowly after her like a horror in a dream.
She dodged behind the sofa, she tore down a curtain rod,
But Victor came slowly after her, said' Prepare to meet Thy God.'
He stood there above the body, he stood there holding the knife;
And the blood ran down the stairs and sang; ' I am the Resurrection
and the Life.'
-WH Auden

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith
And I was round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
-The Rolling Stones

From the point of entry --
Until the candle is burned
The point of departure
Is not to return

Saturday! No more work. Ugh! What a week. I feel as though my soul has been whittled down to a scrawny little stick.

Thank you Mum, who called me, and Kevin, who emailed me, and Maria, who took me out last night. And all of you who have be reading this, the ravings of an eccentric person for 5 years.

*disclaimer - if any of this is incoherent, it could be the onset of dementia. One of my doctor students ran some tests on me and told me i have aged 21 chronological years in the past 72 hours. I am now 64 years old more or less. Look out Mama! I'm catching up!

And now, i give you the final chapter in the Julie Saga

You already know the first two chapters

Part ii -  XMAS EVE?

and now, the final, unbelievable, i wish i could like guys, chapter:


we disengage
we turn the page

Part iii  All Fool's Day (or... Why is my life like a Telemundo Soap Opera)

i have trouble believing any of this really happened.

Obliviously, i was really hurt by what happened. I felt utterly deceived and emotionally towed with. Why the fuck would she ask to stay with me when she had, in her own words, "a relationship" with another guy (who for the record is 53 and lives in Brooklyn.) He was into her when she was 22 but she decided to go to Spain. She knew he liked her but blew him off and decided to cut off all contact when she met her future and eventually ex - husband. She went back to Brooklyn for a year with the boys after the divorce. So 22 years later, she saw him riding a bicycle, stalked him down on Facebook and got in touch. Then they reconnected and slept together.

So in the mist of teaching 7 hours between 9:00 and 20:00, i texted her. It had been 36 hours and she had not responded to my response to her bombshell email where she's crying on my shoulder about her husband's girlfriend being knocked up and then dumps me.

wow. no reply to my email after you treated me so shitty. Well, it could be worse - i could be you. Good luck, you're going to need it. PS - i think it's a girl.

My psychologist tells me i need to stop bottling up my feelings and just let it out once in a while. Duly noted.

I really try not to be evil. It takes EVERYTHING I'VE GOT not to do it, but it comes so damned naturally (see;  father, father's parents, father's sister.)  However, i figured i'd just get it out of my system. Fire a shot across the bow and then move on. I sent the text and then deleted her as a contact in my phone.

go Jaybo... go Jaybo... go Jaybo!

She texted me back!  

I didn't not reply on purpose - i haven't been able to check my Internet."

She gave no reason why not. And when you dump someone on the Internet, don't you think they are going to reply? Wouldn't it just be respectful to read it and get back to them. And shouldn't English teachers know enough to not use double negatives?

i am in Ciudad Real and will read it as soon as i get home 13:22

I get home at 21:00. No reply. i met Maria and we went to Carmencita. Then we went to Barbaroi and her boyfriend Matt ( i introduced them at Bender Tuesday, he treats her well) met us. It was a good night. I got home at 2:00 at went to bed, exhausted, but feeling better.

My phone buzzed at 11:30. Fuck! i thought. She said she read 'almost all of it' but had to stop because her 11 year old son was trying to find out what was going on. But Mommy, why are you being a a douche to that nice man who came all the way down from Madrid to have lunch with us on Sunday?

It wasn't a very long message. Anyway, she said, yes, it was over (Guh! i had already figure that out with the no reply!) and that she didn't want to be in two relationships at once.


flashback to last night;

Maria: He lives Brooklyn? Like all the time?

For the record, i also deleted my file from OK Cupid, the site she first contacted me on.

and i can see from your mouthful yesterday that you can be quite nasty

At least i was always honest and up front with her.

So i sent one last message.

Scorched Earth Policy. I do not suffer fools lightly. The Xmas thing?  Are you insane? i wish you happiness and peace, but i'm not too optimistic on this last point given what i've seen. Stick a fork in me, cause i'm done. PS - Please don't stalk me on social media when we are 67.

Game. Set. Match. 

If i had a clone and Clone Jay was really pissed at me, i would just hang myself. Seriously. I am not one to be fucked with.

2 minutes later, another text.

don't fret. i was done after your second to last text. Good Luck.

Then stop fucking calling me!

i then blocked her on my phone.

Scorched Earth. Burn it all to the ground and leave nothing for your enemies. And then start fresh.

From the point of entry --
Until the candle is burned
The point of departure
Is not to return

The silver lining?  I've sold the outline of a screenplay of this story to Lifetime. The bad news is that Julie's character will be changed to a man and my character will be changed to a woman so that the woman will be the victim and get all the sympathy (cuz that's Lifetime's formula.)

Well, rehashing all that was exhausting. Now if you'll please excuse me, i have a life to get on with.
anything can happen

Video Rush- Prime Mover live

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